Sunday, August 29, 2004
FINALLY! The major works of art (aka, my posters I've had backed to actually look like art) have been hung in my room. Now there's just some final touches and the massive re-decoration will be complete. SANS teddy bears, pink walls and unicorn posters. Thank the dear lord.
Tonight apparently I'll be watching 'The Best and Worst of Canadian Idol.' Oh god. I must love my friends an aweful lot if I'll suffer through that just to hang out with them. :)
On a personal note, I must apologize for my run on entry last night...it was the movie and the music and the hour. After I posted it, I realized though that yesterday was a very important day..an anniversary of sorts, and today my mind is whirling again as it comes back from it's short reprieve. Too much thinking. Maybe it's a good thing I'm going to watch Canadian Idol. That'll dumb me down. :)
posted by sordaria @ 11:40 PM
Tonight apparently I'll be watching 'The Best and Worst of Canadian Idol.' Oh god. I must love my friends an aweful lot if I'll suffer through that just to hang out with them. :)
On a personal note, I must apologize for my run on entry last night...it was the movie and the music and the hour. After I posted it, I realized though that yesterday was a very important day..an anniversary of sorts, and today my mind is whirling again as it comes back from it's short reprieve. Too much thinking. Maybe it's a good thing I'm going to watch Canadian Idol. That'll dumb me down. :)
posted by sordaria @ 11:40 PM
I was really tired tonight. It's been a hectic weekend, with 3 friends arriving from away...two coming home, and one coming to a new place to start a new part of her life. A fantastic time though.
My thoughts are, as usual, all over the place tonight. I just watched Serendipity, which got me thinking about relationships, and love, and fate and destiny....I don't subscribe to the fate idea, nor the soulmate. How depressing it is to think there's only ONE person out there that you could be truely happy with. I'd like to think there's a lot...so that if I screw it up with one of them, or lose them because of geography, or happenstance, I won't be doomed to an unhappy and loveless life.
Then again, sometimes you come across a person who makes you think they might indeed be THE one...the only one who can make you laugh that hard...the only one who can make you feel that safe..the only one who can give you those butterflies...and who, no matter how hard you try, won't get the hell out of your head.
I guess the best we can do is find someone who makes us happy right now. Try not to worry about who we might be missing, and instead make a life with what we've got. Of course, then you've got to think about what it is you've got, and if you're happy with it. We don't always get everything we've included on our 'I'm looking for this in a person' lists, but then again, we often don't really know what we need until we've found it, I think. And sometimes, we find that what we have isn't quite enough....and know we should get out.
It's hard to think about fate...if it's real, does that mean I don't need to do any work? That he'll just pop up...or that he's already here? Perhaps just a few steps in my past, or potentially sitting right in front of me.
See, this is what happens when I watch sappy (yet fantastic) romantic comedies and listen to "What is This Love?" by Blue Rodeo while tired. I feel like I'm writing a column for Sex and The City.
Which means, time for bed. As someone once told me, anything said after midnight doesn't count -- it's 12:02am. That officially puts this entry into the 'disregard' section.
Goodnight to anyone that still reads this thing.
:)
posted by sordaria @ 11:40 PM
My thoughts are, as usual, all over the place tonight. I just watched Serendipity, which got me thinking about relationships, and love, and fate and destiny....I don't subscribe to the fate idea, nor the soulmate. How depressing it is to think there's only ONE person out there that you could be truely happy with. I'd like to think there's a lot...so that if I screw it up with one of them, or lose them because of geography, or happenstance, I won't be doomed to an unhappy and loveless life.
Then again, sometimes you come across a person who makes you think they might indeed be THE one...the only one who can make you laugh that hard...the only one who can make you feel that safe..the only one who can give you those butterflies...and who, no matter how hard you try, won't get the hell out of your head.
I guess the best we can do is find someone who makes us happy right now. Try not to worry about who we might be missing, and instead make a life with what we've got. Of course, then you've got to think about what it is you've got, and if you're happy with it. We don't always get everything we've included on our 'I'm looking for this in a person' lists, but then again, we often don't really know what we need until we've found it, I think. And sometimes, we find that what we have isn't quite enough....and know we should get out.
It's hard to think about fate...if it's real, does that mean I don't need to do any work? That he'll just pop up...or that he's already here? Perhaps just a few steps in my past, or potentially sitting right in front of me.
See, this is what happens when I watch sappy (yet fantastic) romantic comedies and listen to "What is This Love?" by Blue Rodeo while tired. I feel like I'm writing a column for Sex and The City.
Which means, time for bed. As someone once told me, anything said after midnight doesn't count -- it's 12:02am. That officially puts this entry into the 'disregard' section.
Goodnight to anyone that still reads this thing.
:)
posted by sordaria @ 11:40 PM
Monday, August 16, 2004
It's been forever since I last posted. I've survived the George Street Festival, reconnected with my friends, redid my entire bedroom, and have (finally) made a concerted effort to write this damn dissertation.
On a personal side, things are going well. I've never felt so comfortable with my friends and my place here in St. John's...I'm so enjoying this live music scene and the people I've been meeting through it. I'm horribly missing my friends away...those in Halifax and Ottawa especially, but am very excited that at least two of them will be coming home to me soon.
I've been strangely emotional lately. I think it's blamable on the pill and its hormones, but there's also a lot of unanswerable thoughts and questions running through my head...It's weird..I get this overwhelming bouts of tenderness for people sometimes. This morning, I was driving through downtown and saw an older man, obviously a tourist, open the door to the tourist bureau and walk in. Something about him..his casual, gentle demenor, his search for help, his wish to explore even in old age...I was incredibly touched. I dunno..it's weird, like I said. I whell up at the smallest thing, and the only thing I want to do is go sit on a cliff and watch the ocean. The ocean is funny...it gives the impression of vaccany, of long streches of open, empty territory..yet, ever so often you'll see the back of a whale, or a diving bird, and are reminded that there's an incredible lot going on under the surface.
This morning I got my final Twinex Hep A/Hep B shot, so now I'm fully protected. The nurse giving it to me said, "My! You're so calm when you get these! Must be that medical training."
I laughed, and said, "Yeah, or I'm good at faking it."
I think that's been my thing lately -- calm on the surface, yet madly bewildered underneath. Soft, happy seas concealing whirlpools and icy currents in the depths.
Think I'll go lose myself in my dissertation.
But first, lunch. ;)
posted by sordaria @ 10:57 AM
On a personal side, things are going well. I've never felt so comfortable with my friends and my place here in St. John's...I'm so enjoying this live music scene and the people I've been meeting through it. I'm horribly missing my friends away...those in Halifax and Ottawa especially, but am very excited that at least two of them will be coming home to me soon.
I've been strangely emotional lately. I think it's blamable on the pill and its hormones, but there's also a lot of unanswerable thoughts and questions running through my head...It's weird..I get this overwhelming bouts of tenderness for people sometimes. This morning, I was driving through downtown and saw an older man, obviously a tourist, open the door to the tourist bureau and walk in. Something about him..his casual, gentle demenor, his search for help, his wish to explore even in old age...I was incredibly touched. I dunno..it's weird, like I said. I whell up at the smallest thing, and the only thing I want to do is go sit on a cliff and watch the ocean. The ocean is funny...it gives the impression of vaccany, of long streches of open, empty territory..yet, ever so often you'll see the back of a whale, or a diving bird, and are reminded that there's an incredible lot going on under the surface.
This morning I got my final Twinex Hep A/Hep B shot, so now I'm fully protected. The nurse giving it to me said, "My! You're so calm when you get these! Must be that medical training."
I laughed, and said, "Yeah, or I'm good at faking it."
I think that's been my thing lately -- calm on the surface, yet madly bewildered underneath. Soft, happy seas concealing whirlpools and icy currents in the depths.
Think I'll go lose myself in my dissertation.
But first, lunch. ;)
posted by sordaria @ 10:57 AM
