Life as a Science

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BECCA!!!
If anyone sees this girl around tonight, buy the lady a drink!
Hell, if you see her at 2 in the afternoon, buy her a drink!!

Wish I could be their hun....have a GRRRREAT day, and go easy on the tequilla, eh??

:) BIG BIRTHDAY HUG!!!
posted by sordaria @ 12:33 PM

Holy ARRRGH. ARRGH ARRGH ARRRGHH!!!!!


ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


Sorry. Sometimes, a girl's just gotta rant.


MUUURRRRPPPHHHH DSKLGHJSLKDGJH LSKFJGHLKSJHGKLSDUHGLKSJDHFlkj


ahhh.....

posted by sordaria @ 5:13 PM

Ok Folks, the worst has happened.
Just a moment ago....

It started to snow.


The natives are excited. Sheesh.
posted by sordaria @ 1:19 PM

BEAUTIFUL day out today. It's crisp like fall but beautifully sunny and shinny bright. Lifts my spirits and makes me smile.

:)

(still listening to Etta James too)
posted by sordaria @ 6:39 AM

okay, just found my new favorite song.
It's Etta James singing At Last. It's just great jazz...the type that makes you wanna sit back in a smokey room with a martini and sink into the music...
Man, if I had a voice like that, I'd be singing this all day long. No more essays for me, no sir. Seductive, smokey-voiced jazz singer.

hey, we can all dream, can't we?


posted by sordaria @ 4:59 PM

and one more thing....

I wish.....so much, I wish...

better not say it. But I wish it anyway.
posted by sordaria @ 6:40 PM

Oh, there's so much stuff going on, SO much stuff I've meant to write about over the past few days, but every night when I get home I'm way to tired to start getting it out. Like right now, for instance. Just came from an INCREDIBLE dance performance, and I'd love to talk about that, or about my rowing outing this morning, or about my incredible walks in the park yesterday, or the photo shots I've seen or my Sex and The City night last night or the guy I gave money to on the road today and the joyous look in his eye and his "God bless you" when I gave him a mere one pound 70 pence that I found in the bottom of my coat pocket....
But I'm so tired. I'm just going to read and let myself sleep.
Just know that I'm thinking, pondering, examining and living life....just not always posting about it. :)

The moon and stars are amazing tonight.
Orion's belt was on my right the whole way home.
posted by sordaria @ 6:33 PM

There's a lot of songs I miss listening to.
posted by sordaria @ 11:18 AM

Ever wonder what someone else's story is?

Yesterday, I very intelligently left my wallet at home as I left for class. As both my photocopying cards along with my access cards for the libraries were in there, I had to race home in the hour I had off in between my 1 and 3 o'clock classes. As I quickly walked home, it occurred to me that everyone I walked past had a story. I was quickly walking home to get my wallet. Where was that guy going and who was he going to meet up with? What was in the shopping bag that girl was carrying and where was she going with it? Would she be greeted by roomates who would applaude her purchase, or simply put it up herself? Was it a gift? What was that couple talking about that made them laugh like that?

It got to be a very interesting walk. I started to imagine little thought bubbles appearing over everyone's heads....and I could make up whatever I wanted them to say or think. I sometimes wish I could ask people what their story was. But besides making me look crazy, that might take away a lot of the fun.
posted by sordaria @ 2:04 PM

Signs I am back in England:

1. Blisters appearing on hands due to rowing blades.
2. Blisters appearing on feet due to excess walking.
3. Need to buy gloves and bike perpetually plaguing brain.
4. Smell of freshly-cut grass. In January.
5. Buds on trees. In January.
6. Wearing my spring jacket all day and being too warm. In January.
7. Stress ball beginning to re-establish itself in stomach.
8. Pasta! is the everyday answer to "what's for supper?"
9. Watching tapes of episodes of Friends has replaced watching tapes of episodes of Sex and The City (sniff)
10.Essay-writing has consumed my thought processes.
11.Saying dollar gets you bad looks again. Pound, Erica, POUND!
12.The BBC commentator now wakes me up as opposed to Larry Jay and the OzFM Dawn Patrol. Or whoever he is.
13.I have this incredible craving for Ziggy's, Signal Hill, Jam Jam's, and Middle Cove Beach.

Now, before I pass out, I will hobble out to the kitchen and make some pasta. Hopefully I can find someone who has working skin on their hands to help me out. Otherwise, that's gonna be some VERY interesting pasta....urgh.

Man, I totally need sleep. Jetlag, LEAVE ME ALONE!! :)




posted by sordaria @ 2:58 PM

Well all, I have arrived in Oxford safe and sound, if not a little sleepy. By a little, I mean a lot. :)
Now I must get my butt to the grocery store and the bike shop!

I miss you all already...SIGH!!!


posted by sordaria @ 8:48 AM

As I sit here writing this, I feel as if I'm in a deja vu....how long ago was it that I sat in this same place, feeling these same feelings, writing my goodbyes to my home for another few months. Once again, I have packed too much, yet managed to leave too much behind.
Choices.
I'm contemplating choices right now. What choices do we make, and what do we sacrifice to see those choices through to the end? And even though other options exist, are we really free to chose them? Is it really a choice...
Possibilities.
That's another persistant thought at the moment. For as long as the present is true, the future is up for grabs. Anything can be possible, and at this moment, that's the most comforting thought I can embrace. It's like entering a maze with a great big question mark over the entrance, with pathways leading in multiple directions, meeting up with some paths, diverging from others. I've got one path marked out for me to follow right now...but in one more year, that'll diverge again. It may turn completely off from the others, or meet up again with a familiar trail. The possibility remains....and that's why I can let go.
posted by sordaria @ 2:28 PM

I just read the saddest quote off of some random person's blog:

"I thought I lost you somewhere. But you were never really there at all."

That's just sad. To know what you have and then to have to lose it is one thing, but to think you knew, and to realize that it never was what you thought is something completely different. At least, I would think so. I really wouldn't know. All I've known is real.
posted by sordaria @ 10:25 AM

errgh...very nervous and snappy this morning. Combination of leaving tommorrow, the dread of packing, the worries for people out driving today, and general unease.

I feel as if I have to write 8 finals tommorrow for which I haven't prepared. URGH. Gotta shake this!!!

I wish I had a Sex and the City tape!!! :)
posted by sordaria @ 10:17 AM

It's started snowing again. AGAIN. Like we NEED MORE snow...SHEESH!!

Please get home safely.



posted by sordaria @ 11:37 PM

Tonight I lay on my back in the snow in my backyard and gazed up at the stars and the snow-laden tree branches. I felt small, and insignificant, but it allowed me a clear-headedness and stillness I was searching for.
That is, until my butt began to freeze and I had to come indoors.
All good things must come to an end, I guess. For the time being, anyway. Maybe I'll go make another snow angel tommorrow.
posted by sordaria @ 10:50 PM

Tonight I drove around with just the snowplows for company. While the city slept, me and the snowplows patrolled the streets...them laying bare the streets, me laying bare my thoughts to no one but myself.

Self reflection is a wonderful thing.

...so, I posted. So sue me. ;)
posted by sordaria @ 1:22 AM

I don't think I'll be writing anything for a while, at least nothing truely meaningful or thoughtful. The last few entries have all been short, not saying much. My thoughts are all focused around one main thing, the only thing that's really running around in my head. But these thoughts are too personal, too important to risk on such a forum, even one which helps me sort things out so much and give my whirling brain a rest.
And so, my loyal reading public, please stand by.
posted by sordaria @ 11:07 PM

Stop trying to find yourself and start creating yourself.

...just like this quote...way to go Pam! ;)
posted by sordaria @ 6:39 PM

Horrible lonely feeling this morning.
Last Sunday in town...that's probably why.
Wish this would go away.
posted by sordaria @ 11:51 AM

I am so hungry my shoulder is aching.

It makes sense to me....don't ask.

FOOD I NEED FOOD!!!!!
posted by sordaria @ 4:42 PM

HAHAHAHA!! Today my christmas tree fell over!!!!
HAHAHAHA...oh the humanity!!


Nothing's ever quiet and peaceful in the lilly household..oh no.... HAHAHAHAHAHA!
posted by sordaria @ 6:34 PM

I love how everyday I get surprised just a little bit more. It's hard to explain that, but each day you bring something new into my line of sight that I maybe hadn't seen clearly enough before. You may not even realize you do this -- but I love how each day I have a new reason to sigh, or smile or laugh or yearn or wonder...like a parcel I can only open one little piece of tape of at a time.
....parcel...kinda funny word, don't you think?
posted by sordaria @ 10:53 PM

Lost in my emotions, I turned to you.
You offered me fleece blankets, warm tea, homemade cookies.
Some good conversation, a listening ear, offering up suggestions and solace, not advice.
Some excellent tv.

Thank you for offering me a refuge from my storm of emotion. I felt safe.
posted by sordaria @ 10:44 PM

And there's no road that ain't a hard road to travel on

- Sam Roberts


posted by sordaria @ 10:01 AM

If I traded it all, if I gave it all away for one thing,
just for one thing....

If I sorted it out, if I knew all about this one thing,
wouldn't that be something.
posted by sordaria @ 12:48 PM

lalalala...happy post....new happy post....

:)

(I'm a dork, this I realize. :))
posted by sordaria @ 11:28 AM

I have come to the conclusion that I am ridiculously emotional. I cry at the drop of a hat, which pisses me off, because it's pretty darn hard to be taken seriously in an arguement if water is streaming down your face. It's also damn hard to convince someone that nothing's really wrong when you can't speak and tears are whelling up in your eyes. It's hard to explain sometimes that you're crying because you love them and they're good to you. I cry when people are kind, when people are sweet....I get this ache in my throat so often now that I'm beginning to wonder if I have a emotional embalance in my brain.....maybe since both my brother and his girlfriend are studying the brain (psychology and neurology respectively), they can figure me out.
I'm even crying as I write this -- and it's because I'm happy. Weird, huh?
posted by sordaria @ 10:51 PM

13 days left. The countdown has begun.

I'm not ready for this yet.
posted by sordaria @ 5:22 PM

Not really sure what to post at the moment, but feel like I should post SOMETHING, it being New Year's Day and all....

Had a great night last night...good food, good drinks, GREAT company....lots of laughs and hillarity ensued...Chill, but VERY enjoyable New Year's Eve.

And also had a great day today...very chill, but also full of laughter and comfort and fun....big smiles all around my face today.

It's funny how you can cloud your brain so much with thinking about the stupids that you forget how wonderful the simples can be.....how happy you can be just by letting yourself live in the moment....lovely lazy afternoons. :)
posted by sordaria @ 7:56 PM