Life as a Science

Okay, so, last night I felt as if I was in a movie. It was like a bar scene from Top Gun -- Jen, Pam and I were sitting at a table at Trinity, the bar the size of my living room, while Jeff Martin (drool) played some acoustic guitar and crooned to any tune the rowdy crowd yelled out to him. At one point a blue-shirted drunkard grabbed the mike and started singing Mr. Big....within two phrases, the entire bar had joined in the song, with Jeff not accompagning, (seeing how we were all in 10 different keys) but rather just drumming along on the body of his guitar....there were probably 25 of us in the bar, and every single one was singing along at the top of our respective lungs. Bryan Adam's "Everything I do, I do it for you" soon followed, and the night concluded with a little bit of Elvis, like all good things should.
I honestly felt like I was at Cheers....I love this town.
posted by sordaria @ 1:21 PM

My hands are purple with blueberry juice.
There's pizza coming soon with my brother and his girlfriend.
Can't really stop smiling because of a very random event that's perhaps leading to something not so random.

Yup, good day.
posted by sordaria @ 6:41 PM

Waiting for someone is hard....waiting to see if someone maybe feels the same way....trying to encourage them to tell you without coming straight out and saying anything because you're afraid of freaking them out....not wanting to lose them as a friend, as someone who makes you laugh so hard you almost spit out your coffee.

I think I'm still drunk this morning.
posted by sordaria @ 11:29 AM

That was the smallest coffin I have ever seen.

The grandparents were only allowed half the ashes, the other half being taken by the mother's side of the family, and when K & B asked if their half could be divided up in thirds, to be spread in the same spots as their son, the boy's father, they were told that with a baby of only 13 months, you only got about a half a pound of ashes, not enough to seperate into these fractions....so they just took what they could.

I had no idea they had so many friends until today....the place was full....I don't believe they spent more than 5 minutes throughout the entire reception without being drawn into someone's arms.


posted by sordaria @ 1:29 PM

I was just out in the garden playing chase with my cat. I have a little cloth mouse that I throw or daggle or spin, and Newton goes crazy running after it and jumping 8 feet in the air or flipping double cartwheels in order to get it and chew it to bits. I love playing with him, but just now I got a huge painful scratch across my right wrist, where I didn't think Newton would jump as high as he did, and he caught my skin while reaching for the mouse. I'm going back out to play with him though...the pain is worth the fun.
Maybe that's the lesson....that the pains of life are all part of the fun of it.....you have to endure the downs in order to love the ups...
But still, this down may be one of those from which ups can't possibly follow. I guess only time will tell this one.
posted by sordaria @ 11:53 AM

Sometimes, life throws you lemons, and no matter how hard you try, you just can't find any way to make lemonade.

I don't believe that everything happens for a reason. I don't believe that there was a divine purpose and great necessity for the death of a boy, his son, and the tragic future laid out for those left behind. I can't see how there can possibly be a justification for this. I wouldn't want a God who said there was.

I used to believe though, that lemonade could be made, even from the sourest of lemons. When Maggie was killed by a drunk driver at Christmas time, I took from her death the resolution to live life one day at a time, to not rely on the fact that tommorrow would arrive as per usual. I had to have that important conversation, I had to take an extra minute to stare at the stars, I had to remember to tell my mom I loved her before she went out to get the groceries. Maggie's death was the sourest lemon I had ever encountered, but out of it, I managed to pull some pretty darn good lemonade. And I drink it in everyday, and think of her with every drop.

But here, I have a problem. I don't think there's enough sugar left in me to sweeten up this most recent crop of lemons. I don't know what lesson, what truth, to take from this. Not to trust anybody? No, I won't accept that. Not to fight? Absolutely not. Maybe the lesson here is how to carry on. I need to see that K and D will survive..will continue to live as I have seen them live....to somehow use this experience to make them stronger. I don't know how they will do this, as I'm sure I would crumble under the same circumstances. I'm close to crumbling now.

I just don't see the lesson....there's no reason for it, and there's no good I can take from it.
The world seems to be spinning a little slower today....maybe it's waiting to see if any of us will decide to jump off.
posted by sordaria @ 1:08 AM

Right now there's a baby boy, barely one year old, lying in a steel box. To describe how beautiful he was, how his eyes shone, how he squealed with laughter when his grandfather would fly him around like an airplane, one hand protecting him from below, the other laid supporting along his back -- to describe these things seems almost pointless now. There's a grandmother, heartbroken beyond all possible repair....there's nothing a doctor can do to patch up these wounds. No triple or quadruple bypass is gonna work this time. The pain of losing a son, destroyed by 5 bullets, sent out by a woman motivated by hate, spured by insanity....then having to deal with this woman for two years, knowing that your grandchild, a living piece of your son, was on the way....and then, when the son was born, to battle and fight and be strong to try to get this son away from its mother, to survive the court battles and the phone calls and the visiting rights where the mother would call them grandma and grandpa and pretend they were all just a happy little family....to sit there, with your son's murderer...to tough it out for the sake of this little boy...the one piece of your son that exists...to live through hell for 2 years....and now, to have the reason for staying on ripped away by the one woman who caused all this in the first place.....this is unthinkable. The boy is dead. Drowned by his mother, in a murder-suicide. I cannot say I am sorry she is gone. That is perhaps a horrible thing to say, but to know the type of terrors and horrors she put others through, and the battles that were still mounting, I cannot say I miss her. I never knew her, never saw her, only now have I learned what she looks like, as her picture is on every newspaper and evening news reel.
But I cannot believe she took the baby with her. She has left three other children behind, and has destroyed the lives of two wonderful, incredible people.
Justice did not show its face today.
This is the saddest story I have ever heard.

posted by sordaria @ 7:24 PM

Okay, so last thursday night was super random. I'll refer you to becca's blog (see Cat Tales link on the side) to explain our random encounter with the Desperado piano man -- she does a great job of describing the goings on...sigh...I miss Chicago...heh heh heh.
After that random event, the night took another strange, slightly unexpected but wonderful twist. This is likely going to land me with a broken heart, however....and unfortunately I seem to be a train wreck waiting to happen...I know I'm about to derail, but can't seem to put on the brakes and stop myself before my heart gets crushed inbetween the cars.....
I really hate this...it's exciting, but at the same time, I know I'm going to get hurt...and maybe hurt a friendship....I hate my hormones. This bites.
So, on to Friday. Drove through the city half asleep at 6am, after only 45 minutes of sleep. I can't quite believe we both survived. Came home, passed out for another hour and a half, then had to get dressed and get to the mall to meet Jen for 9am. Tim Horton's has never tasted so beautiful. Returned home around 11, and proceeded to sleep until 4pm, when I had to get up and go party. Again. :)
Saturday I cleaned the house ALL day, parents arrived home in the evening, then went to The Attic for some live music.
I will finish this later as apparently I must go help my parents move food into the house.
:)
posted by sordaria @ 6:00 PM

Okay, so since I haven't blogged for a while, here's a recap of the highlights from the past week starting thursday:
Took the cat to the vet. Got some antibiotics, and had to give them to him twice a day. Many struggles, scratches and airborn white liquid ensued. That reminds me....must wash my pants.
Did the Haunted Hike...very entertaining, even though it was about the 8th time I've seen it. Very tall basketball players also en route, so enjoyable night.
Had alcohol set on fire in my mouth....slightly painful, but quite enjoyable. Go Joey Coady.
Heard King Nancy. Good band. Go see them. EXCELLENT vocals.
Spent a night at Trinity's, drooling over an already-taken god of a man....sigh.
Was told I was intriguing......how intriguing.
Threw a wicked birthday day party with two old friends....watched The Complete Works of Wllm Shkspere (abridged) and laughed so hard my face hurt afterwards. I also managed to get myself sun burned on only one side. Ate bbqed salmon, salad, and an AMAZING SKOR, CHOCOLATE and COFFEE birthday cake, did a puppet play, and listened to old tapes made by my friends and I. Stomach pains ensued from laughing so hard.
Tried the new chocolate ultimate sundae from Dairy Queen. She's soooommmee tasty.
Sunday morning, made a huge feast of pancakes and eggs. She's soooommmee tasty.
Went on random trip to Bell Island. Went down a mine on a tour, went to a marina and ate ice cream while sitting on beach rocks and enjoying the view of the ocean.
Went to duckstreet bistro. SOME TASTY.
Tried to go to a sold out play, and ended up watched Blood Work with Clint Eastwood. Not worth the plastic the tape is made off. DO NOT WATCH...it's a health hazard, I'm sure.
Saw my cousin who is visiting from england, and had a huge feast at my grandmother's house with all the kidies of my family. When I say kidies, I mean anyone under the age of 31. Ahem.
Went for a lot of coffee downtown....
Spent a wicked night at O'Reilly's Open Mike Night on tuesday, which included the introduction of Strong Bow into my drinking repetoire....mmmm...alcoholic apple cider...mmmm....the night ended with returning to my house with three other people, trying to watch Terminator, falling asleep next to a loudly snoring boy, and rousing a still-drunk Mike at 6:30 in the morning from my den couch in order to get him to a 7:30 appointment. I wonder if he made it....my money is on NO.
Read on my front lawn and got leared at by a guy in a truck...loooovely. Ick.
Went out for drinks with my cousin and brother and brother's and cousin's significant others....got lots of corona bought for me....little drunk. Go grapevine go. Ran into old friend of mine from elementary school who now wears lots of makeup. Not so strange except that he's..well...a he. To each his own, I guess!! Still a very nice guy.
And now here I am. Thursday, August 14th. I have a lot of cleaning to do today, as my parents come home on saturday. So far today I have gone out to breakfast, picked up repaired sandals, gone for a walk, done the dishes, and received a parking ticket. I wonder where the rest of the day will take me? My guess is...back to bed. :)
Here comes the weekend!!!




posted by sordaria @ 12:23 PM

Has anyone seen my "comments"? They seem to have run off my page and are probably roaming wildly through the world wide web by now....sniff...sniff...
My cat is limping and won't put any weight on his back left leg. I'm taking him to the vet this afternoon -- if he was hit by a car I'm going to bust some tires....arrrrggghhh
I'm listening to christmas music as I write this. How odd.

posted by sordaria @ 10:27 AM

Yeah, so day 6 of our 7-day bender at the george street festival has come and gone, leaving us all a little run down and headachy. Last night began with a wicked supper cooked up by me and Mary Brown's (mmm...taters....), and then Sarah, Jen and I proceeded to sit down with a bottle of Sour Puss under the agreement not to get up until the bottle was emptied. We proceeded downtown around 9:30, ended up in a random sketchy bar called Encounters, where many more shots of happiness were ordered and consumed. Following this, there was sporatic, spontaneous bouts of dancing, lots of talking to people we are ashamed to see today, and a stumbly, tired cab ride home. Tonight we conclude the week of maddness with a concert by Signal Hill, down at Etomix. My liver will be happy to know that tonight's festivities perclude the use of alchol, due to the fact that I am already more than pickled.
posted by sordaria @ 4:49 PM

Oh my god....last night I was not FIT!!! (to be in public, that is). I don't have the strength to write it all down now, especially since I'm simultaneously trying to stop my psycho cat from knocking everything off my desk, but let me just say that last night was one of those random nights where drukeness hits you like a mack truck and you don't know what you're doing until it's done. I have not been so drunk in...well...in a very very long time. I danced like a mofo until my legs almost fell off and ran completely out of money. I'm going to stop writing for the time being, but what a good night....but really, how could a night that started with an AC/DC cover band wearing red velvet short suits and black leather hats ever go anywhere but into craziness????
Oh my dear...what a night, what a night.
posted by sordaria @ 11:42 AM

Sometimes life can get you down, but then someone calls you and asks you to go eat breakfast in the sunshine downtown and it's all okay again.
posted by sordaria @ 11:52 AM

wow....another night of the George Street Festival done with. Tonight was an early night, and I'm home and happily on my way to bed, and it's only just now turning 2am. My parents would scream by my saying this is an EARLY night. :)
Overall, a good night...kinda weird, but good. I wasn't drunk, and as much as I don't like to say it, you really have to be to appreciate an event like this. There's just so many people and so much pushing and shoving and cat calling and stuff that being drunk just places a sugar coating on everything, and without that coating, things seem a little too much.
And, WHY, may I ask you, would a guy that chased me out of a bar, and made me memorize his email address last night, totally ignore me tonight??? I am so disallusioned with the male gender. But then again, that's nothing new.
posted by sordaria @ 2:22 AM

Phew! It is an absolutely gorgeous day out there, and I have wasted it pretty much all away by falling asleep whereever I put myself. I was reading outside, then got so hot I had to come inside, and sat on the couch, where I presently fell asleep. THe prospect of actually getting dressed in people-friendly clothes is too much of an effort, and yet I feel I simply canNOT just sit here/sleep in my house until we go out tonight. I must go do something!!! Now...if only I knew WHAT to do.....wash the car maybe?
Yesterday was wicked awesome. Erin and I hit George Street at 6 to here our most favorite band, Pumt (mild obsession there...nothing too crazy....if you don't call total stalkerish behavior crazy...), then got some good ol' Burger King supper and came home to my house to scarf down the food. Then a bunch of math campers came over to drink which entailed me going to pick them up in our family van like a soccer mom, and drive them all to the liquor store (NOT so much like a soccer mom...) and bring them home to prime in my living room, where they were entertained by my ol-so-crazy feline, Newton.
Jen and Sarah shortly arrived, and upon calling a cab, we all hit the downtown scene. My ride had a short intermission as we crashed my best friend's boyfriend's party to steal my extrememly druken friend and throw her in the car with us. Very much fun. :) Except for the part where she tried to take my hair down and I had to pin her in the car for the whole ride down. What am I saying, that too was very much fun.
And then, once hitting the street, what a scene of debachery!!! Our first watering hole was Lottie's, where the girl's bathroom is extremely cramped, digusting, but oh-so-welcome to liquor-filled bladders. From Lottie's, we bar-hopped around, most of which is one big blur, but I did have my first introduction to Club Octane, where white boys pretend to be black, and everyone is JZ and Beyonce on the dancefloor. The night ended at the Rob Roy, where Erin and I, accompained by Sarah, continued our stalking of PUMT by listening to them play the end of their set. In conversing with the guys afterwards, it turned out to be my favorite drummer's BIRTHDAY!! Unfortunately, I'm too much of a wimp to have more than a short conversation with the guy, but oh well...that's enough for me!!! (seeing how I'm an obsessive stalker....)
Then, it was home to bed and sleep. But not before I sent off one very important email I will not elaborate on here for fear of jinxing its fruitition.
And today is Saturday, and we will repeat it all over again. Tonight, I MOTHER EARTH!!!
God bless the George Street Festival.

posted by sordaria @ 4:13 PM

Okay, TOTAL reversal of mood. If I can have that good of a time on a thursday, dreadfully tired with a splitting headache, then oh my goodness watch out for the rest of the weekend!!! In the words of one Jen Shea, "She'll be a good night!" come friday!!!
posted by sordaria @ 12:15 AM